Tomorrow marks the beginning of what feels like a long process of healing.  Tomorrow I go in VERY early in the morning and get my chemo port.  Tomorrow, my body starts to change, and I hope to attack and kill cancer.  So, in some ways, it is a hopeful day, and in some ways, it is very sobering.  This is reality now.  A reality I never thought was even possible.  I am certain every person who ever got this diagnosis felt the same way.  How is this possible?  But I do not consider myself immune to any suffering known to humans.  I do not claim any special privilege that exempts me from pain, illness, fear, etc.  That is life!  And I have had the most amazing, blessed life.  So, it's time to hit a rough patch, time to press into the truths I have said I stand on for most of my life.  And that's okay.  

Here's what I know so far:

I will have my first chemo treatment on June 6 and will have them weekly for 12 weeks.  Then the next phase will be another 12 weeks, but only going in for treatment every 3 weeks.  That last section will be a rough one, from what I understand.  Right now, I'm just taking this one step at a time and not looking too far forward. My cancer is triple negative, which is a very aggressive type, but one that my doctor has told me is curable. My doctor is amazing, by the way.  Very upbeat and confident.  She doesn't pad the truth, and has told me this will be hard, but I feel hopeful that when it's all said and done, I will have a great story to tell and also be cancer-free.  

If all goes well, I will be done with chemo on October 31st.  

If you'd like to pray with me, here are a few things I love being specific about-

*That I would honor God in all I do throughout this time

*That God would increase my trust in Him and understanding of His word.

*That I could be used through this to encourage others and point them to Jesus. This    is my true heart's desire.

*Protection for my body from the damages of chemo, so that it would target the cancer and just avoid the rest of me! I'm getting immunotherapy as well, which does target the type of cancer I have, but the more traditional chemo attacks everything.  So please pray that my blood counts stay strong and all my organs remain healthy.  

On Saturday, Chris and I will take a quick two-day trip to have some fun before I start treatment.  I'll post more about that after we are back and I have my first infusion.  

I want to tell all of you that your texts, phone calls, and messages on social media have meant more than you can imagine.  Knowing at such a deep level how much you are loved...well, it changes things.  It changes your outlook, it strengthens and also humbles you.  I don't deserve it, but I hope to return it as much as possible.  This kind of love cannot just be taken in; it has to go back out as well.  I can't wait to see what God wants to do with it all! 

"I sought the Lord and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.  Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.  This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles."  Psalm 34:1-6

 

Eyes.On.Jesus.

Nan